Kindling Fear
A parent cannot pass to a child the knowledge and tangible experience of what it’s like to burn your hand on a stove. They can scold you for getting close to it when it’s hot, but you have no idea as a child what that experience is like. One day, through a lack of supervision and an abundance of curiosity, the child will touch the stove. The pain receptors will work to their fullest extent, and some tears and band-aids will be the end result, as well as a strong signal in the brain that tells the child “NEVER TOUCH THAT THING AGAIN!”
This is a fall, a blunder, a mistake that we learn from. It happens every day, and our brain is making these calculations by the moment to assess if there is danger. It’s what kept us alive when we were hunters and gatherers, because it’s not useful to try and negotiate your way out of a lion charging towards you. You either fight, or you flee.
With all the complexities and nuance of the brain however, there’s a dark undertone to living a life navigated by the avoidance of danger. Today, we have the luxury of not worrying about a lion eating us for lunch every day (in most parts of the world at least). And yet, without this danger, our brains will make lions out of the smallest things. Public speaking feels like I’m about to be hunted down. My palms start sweating profusely, my heart pumping, and I get shaky, and I mean really shaky.
On the other side of these biological mechanisms that tell us to run is an abundance of opportunity. We can only know ourselves when we willingly face the feeling of being hunted. To seek it out adamantly, to look it in the face and kindle a bravery towards it. If a child touches a stove and burns themself, maybe they’ll have a fear of fire or kitchens for the rest of their life. But if they harness that fear, they can learn to cook and feed themselves and a family so they don’t go hungry.
Fire, pain, and fear all are signals of danger. But the point of danger isn’t to run away from it. Be afraid, feel fear, and feel the singe of the fire. Then carry those lessons with you for the next time you encounter it, because you will encounter it.
